You get home and the neighbour mentions the barking again. Or there is a chewed skirting board, or a puddle by the door from a dog who has not had an accident inside for two years.
Almost everyone calls this separation anxiety. Often it is something else entirely, and the something else is far easier to fix. Here is how to tell the difference.
What we cover
Who is Malena DeMartini
Malena DeMartini has specialised in one problem since 2001. Not obedience, not reactivity, not puppies. Just dogs who cannot cope with being left alone. She is a graduate of the Academy for Dog Trainers, she has written two books on the subject, and she runs the certification programme behind the separation anxiety specialists now working around the world.
She is also clear about what she is not, having said openly that she is not a veterinarian and not a PhD in learning. What she has is two decades on one narrow problem.
One thing to be upfront about: she has no branded five-step method, and argues against formulaic protocols, because a fixed percentage increase in alone time is how you sensitise a dog rather than desensitise one. So these are not her steps. They are five things drawn from her published work and the veterinary literature.
If you take nothing else away, it is important for you to know that separation anxiety is fixable.
Malena DeMartini1. Check it really is separation anxiety
This is the step almost everyone skips, and the one that saves the most time. The Merck Veterinary Manual is blunt that a diagnosis requires ruling out the other explanations first, and VCA lists them in a way you can work through at the kitchen table.
Does the chewing or toileting also happen while you are home? Look at house-training and a possible medical cause first. Does the damage get worse the longer you are out, rather than starting immediately? You may simply be leaving them too long. Is the barking set off by people going past? That is territorial, not separation. And if it only happens inside a crate or a closed laundry, that is confinement anxiety, a different problem with a different fix.
Real separation distress has a signature. Merck notes the signs usually appear within fifteen to thirty minutes of you leaving, and VCA notes the damage clusters at the door you left by, rather than spread randomly around the house.
Quick tip
- Try one absence where you leave by a different door, and one where you leave the radio on. If the pattern changes completely, the trigger is the exit routine or outside noise rather than your absence.
2. Put a camera on it
Both VCA and the American Kennel Club say the same thing, and DeMartini builds her entire method around it. VCA calls a video clip of the dog alone perhaps the best way to work out what is actually going on. An old phone propped on a shelf is enough.
What you are looking for is not the barking, which you already know about. It is the first sign of trouble and when it arrives. Pacing, panting, drooling, standing at the door. If your dog settles after four minutes and sleeps for three hours, you do not have a separation anxiety problem. If they never settle, you know what you are dealing with and where to start.
The RSPCA makes a related point: most owners have no idea how much their dog barks when they are out, and nuisance barking is the most common complaint Australian councils receive. The camera answers that before your neighbour has to.
3. Rule out the boredom end first
A large share of dogs labelled with separation anxiety are under-stimulated rather than distressed. The signs overlap, which is why the camera matters, but the fix is different and much quicker.
A bored dog usually settles for a while, then gets up and finds something to do, and the damage is scattered rather than focused on the door. They eat happily while you are out. A dog in genuine distress often will not eat at all, which DeMartini calls alone-time anorexia.
If your footage looks like boredom you are in luck, because this version responds to a walk before you leave, a varied route, and something to work at. DeMartini endorses this squarely, outside of separation training: dogs thrive on scavenging, licking, sniffing and chewing, and she names food puzzles and snuffle mats specifically.
Our guides to the signs of a bored dog and enrichment that actually works cover this end of the spectrum properly.
For the boredom end
PawQuest™ Dog Snuffle Mat
Scatter a meal through the fabric and a dog who would have eaten in ninety seconds spends twenty minutes sniffing it out instead. Worth saying plainly: this is enrichment for an understimulated dog, not a treatment for separation distress.
Shop PawQuest™
$59.90
4. Stop the clock, then rebuild it slowly
If the camera shows the real thing, this is the part that does the work, and it is the part most people find hardest.
The first half is to stop leaving your dog alone for longer than they can currently handle. DeMartini calls this imperative and a crucial component of any protocol. Her reasoning is practical: a dog left to panic every weekday is flooded with stress chemicals daily, and most get worse, not better, under that repetition.
In real life this means a dog walker, a neighbour, a family member, or working from home while you do the training. It is genuinely inconvenient. It is also why the training works when it works.
The second half is rebuilding alone time in increments the dog can cope with, watching their body language rather than a stopwatch. There is no behaviour to reward. The goal is simply that the dog learns being alone is safe.
Quick tip
- Expect it to go backwards. DeMartini describes the normal pattern as two steps forward, three steps back, and says setbacks are what most dogs need in order to learn. A bad week is not a failed plan.
5. Skip the quick fixes that backfire
Four things get recommended constantly. Here is what the evidence actually says about each.
A bark collar
DeMartini says these typically worsen separation anxiety dramatically, because the barking is a symptom of panic and removing the symptom does nothing to the panic. RSPCA Australia agrees, listing anti-bark collars among the methods that make things worse by increasing fear. We sell bark control gear and we are still telling you not to use it for this.
A crate
VCA warns that crates can promote intense escape attempts and fairly serious injuries in these dogs. DeMartini's alternative is worth borrowing: rather than confining the dog inside a space, confine them out of the spaces you are worried about.
A second dog
The literature does not support this. Several studies find no association between other pets in the household and separation anxiety. VCA puts it plainly: neither food nor a second pet is likely to be useful in dogs that are too anxious.
Punishment of any kind
Every source agrees. VCA notes that anything you do on returning home increases anxiety about future departures and cannot undo what has already happened. There is no version of this that helps.
What does have real support is a conversation with your vet. VCA is clear that medication reduces the underlying anxiety so the retraining can work, rather than replacing it.
Where enrichment genuinely fits
The standard advice to leave a stuffed food toy at the door is more complicated than it looks. DeMartini argues against it during separation training for three reasons. A distressed dog often will not eat it. A dog who does eat it is not necessarily calm, just conflicted. And handing over food right as you leave can turn the toy into a predictor of the thing the dog dreads. PetMD makes the same point independently.
Outside of that, enrichment is genuinely good for dogs. Once a dog is comfortable alone for about an hour, a food toy is a reasonable answer to plain boredom. For the many dogs who were never anxious, it is the whole answer.
Slower, harder, more interesting
ForagePaws™ Dog Foraging Toy
Carrots hidden in a fabric patch that your dog has to pull free one at a time. It taps the natural scavenging behaviour the research keeps pointing at, and lasts considerably longer than a bowl.
Shop ForagePaws™
$99.90
The rest of our puzzle toys and snuffle mats sit in the toys, feeding and enrichment collection. If barking is the part driving you spare, why your dog barks at home covers the other causes, and for a dog anxious generally rather than only when alone, Kayla Fratt on the Relaxation Protocol is the better start.
Go deeper
Malena DeMartini interviewed on Companion Animal Psychology, January 2026. Thirty minutes, and it covers suspending absences, using video, crates and medication in her own words.
Common questions
How common is separation anxiety in dogs?
Veterinary reviews put it at roughly 14 to 20 percent of dogs. There is no published Australian figure.
How do I know if it is separation anxiety or boredom?
Film it. Distress usually starts within fifteen to thirty minutes, focuses on the door you left by, and often comes with refusing food. Boredom starts later, wanders around the house, and does not stop the dog eating.
Will getting a second dog help?
The evidence does not support it. Several studies find no link between other pets in the home and separation anxiety. Treat the dog you have first.